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2015-12-31 12:00 am

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rationelle: (William - left behind)
2010-11-22 07:16 pm

and I tried to sleep alone, but I couldn't do it.

It's a long story as to how I ended up in the situation in which I am now. I don't expect anyone to understand it, especially as I, myself, only understand part of it. It's a huge mess, but the more difficult part will be getting out of it. So, now it's a matter of figuring out where to start.... )

I don't know precisely when I'll leave; as I said, I should leave tonight, but I couldn't stand to live with the guilt. God willing, my sister's car will be back to functionality within a week. I don't know when I'll be back. Internet access is grand, it really is, but it's a luxury, and one that I may not be able to afford for a while, especially while I seek stable footing for myself. It will hurt at first-- profound change as this does come at a price-- but it will be all for the better.

And I have to keep reminding myself of that.

To all of you who have read this-- to all of you who have heard me, to all of you who have known me and know me now, I want to say that I love all of you for who you are and for just being there, even if it's been listening to me, talking with me, or simply brightening my days. You're all wonderful, and I doubt I would have had the strength to carry on if I hadn't known each and every one of you. Don't worry too much about me; just have faith, and carry on with your own lives. I will be back, don't ever doubt that.

It's time to do what needs to be done.
rationelle: (Emma - sombre reverie)
2010-03-30 12:06 am

But I will never be your stepping stone-- take it all or leave me alone.

When last we left our dear hero, fatigue had taken her over and the walls were closing in! There was drama! Mystery! Action! ... Well, not so much action! Intrigue! And a dangerous hint of mystery!

And now it seems anticlimactic to actually tell my tale of five months gone without much word.

I've been tired. I've been sick, I've been working, I've been fucking around, I've been here, there, everywhere. I've been home, but not felt at home. I've been very drunk, and I've been very sober. I've been on a rollercoaster, yet I haven't really moved.

But that's all too surreal and pretentious above. I'm not a poet; let's get to the main points of disinterest. )
rationelle: (Emma - faint-coloured fields)
2010-02-24 03:21 am